If you’re a mom you won’t need me to expand the acronym FTM.
Those 9 months were perhaps the last when you decided when you’d sleep and wake up. My friends who were already mums told me to enjoy my last few months of uninterrupted sleep and at the time I thought they were being dramatic. Now I know better.
I read a book on hypnobirthing before going into labour and it helped, I didn’t have to have an epidural. Well, that was actually because the doctor said I wasn’t still enough for it.
Hours of labor pains later she was born. The most perfect creature I’d ever laid eyes on and my reaction was oh shit! The doctors and nurses got really angry that I said that and I’ve never used that phrase since.
I thought a natural delivery meant going home the next day, which is why I went through it but then I heard about bilirubin! Her bilirubin levels were high so we had too spend 6 days in the hospital. I thought they were trying to trap us there and all sorts of weird thoughts leptospirosis popping up. We didn’t have balconies and the windows didn’t open so we weren’t getting any fresh air so one night when my mother was in the hospital I tried running away for just 10 minutes so that I could get a bit of fresh air. I was caught by a security guard and sent back to the room.
We didn’t get a private room because of high demand-low supply so I was sharing the room with 3 other women whose babies had high bilirubin levels too. There were 4 screaming babies and 4 exhausted mothers in that room and no one really bonded over that.
Finally after alot of crying, pleading and shouting (by me) we were sent home. And I got to sniff that fresh air that I so missed.